Worshipping Once Again May 19, 2014

We often have seasons of how we interact with God in slightly different ways. I don’t know about you, but there are times where I am hungry to read the Word of God, others where I want to sit in the presence of God, and others where I feel the need to press-in in prayer. I’m currently in a season of increased prayer, not that I give up reading my Bible or worshipping or fellowshipping, but I find myself being called to a deeper prayer walk. Watching Ellie, and I believe that kids go through these same ideas of interacting with God differently in different seasons. There are times that Ellie wants to pray a lot, and there are times where she won’t join in to pray at all and demands that Mommy or Daddy prays for her. There are times where I catch her reading her Bible by herself or she wants to listen to me read mine, and then other times where she would rather play quietly during my devotion time.

As her parents, we have decided that the best way to cultivate her journey with God is to immerse her in our walks with God. We pray out loud, have set times to read our Bibles, do family communion, go to church together, and bring up discussions about God when they fit. We desire to show that following God is a way of life for us.

The other night we went to speak at a middle of the week young adults service. Ellie is typically shy of any childcare that isn’t her regular Sunday school class, so I told her she could sit with us during service if she wanted. She jumped at that, and joined us for the service. I was excited to immerse her in the service and help her feel a part of what the adults do during service.

As I held Ellie and worshipped, Ellie joined in with a soft wordless song. We caught each other’s eye while singing and both smiled. Ellie was worshipping alongside her mother.

My heart broke for joy for several reasons. First, she was entering into worship. It was in her own way and not under compulsion, but flowing from her heart.

Second, she hasn’t joined in during worship since we were living in Bangkok. For several months prior to our move, Ellie would sing during worship. When we moved, the worship song style was different and unfamiliar. The humming and singing that Ellie would do didn’t match these beats and patterns. She closed up and hasn’t sung during worship since. It has been a year since I heard Ellie worship alongside me and she has joined back in once more.

A beautiful moment because Andy and I chose to bring Ellie out to a late night service and to include her in worship. As we drove home I could barely keep back the happy tears as I recounted our worship time to my husband. What a wonderful night.

Each In Our Own Way January 21, 2014

Ellie and I love to have tea parties. Whether it is pretend tea or real tea makes little difference to us. We love to sit down and sip tea, add sugar or honey, and add milk. When it is pretend time, exaggeration is the name of the game, with cups filled overflowing, if only in our minds. When we sit down with real tea, we chose a decaf tea lightly sweetened with honey. Ellie likes hers filled with ice cubes while I drink mine hot. There is something fun about sitting down for a tea party with a little girl, no matter her age.

The other morning, Ellie invited me to a tea party. We had lots of time so I boiled some water and brewed a pot of tea. As Ellie grabbed her favorite tea cup the smile said it all,  she was happy. I love this time with Ellie, so I grabbed my phone and snapped a quick picture of Ellie.

As we drank our tea, Ellie saw a pouch of fruit snacks laying on the table. She had forgotten to eat it the night before when we were out. In the middle of the night she had awoken crying about not getting to eat her fruit snacks. Rather than disappoint again, when Ellie asked I decided that a snack of fruit snacks would be fine, even if she had been eating all morning. It turned out to be a great choice.

Ellie directed the next course of events. We would put a fruit snack in our mouth and then take a sip of tea. The goal was to keep the fruit snack on the tongue and still swallow the tea. We had to prove it by sticking out our tongue with the fruit snack. Ellie thought this was so much fun that I had to make up a second pot of tea. Towards the end of our tea time Ellie grabbed her little camera. After the next sip of tea (and tongue sticking out with fruit snack) Ellie snapped a picture of me. She wanted to remember our tea that day.

Ellie and I both had a blast at that tea. I wanted to remember that we sat down together excited and happy to spend time together. Ellie had so much fun playing a game while we drank our tea that she wanted to document it. I love that we can each have parts of an activity that appeal to each of us. How we enjoy may be different but that we are both enjoying makes my heart happy.

I have a feeling that enjoying things differently but both having fun will continue. It does not have to be threatening, that Ellie enjoys different things than me. I believe that it is more important to be doing things together, especially if we both find it fun. My goal is spending time with Ellie.

When spending time with your child(ren), do you mainly do activities your child(ren) like, ones you enjoy, or you both like? What is the right balance with that?

 

“No, I’m Three” July 10, 2013

Ellie went from age one to age three. She missed two, at least in her mind. We celebrated her birthday a little over a week early. We talked about her being 2 and she was excited. And then on her actual birthday, when we talked about it being her birthday, Ellie decided she was 3. It was cute. We would ask Ellie, “How old are you? Are you 2?” She would smile and reply, “No, I three.” and then hold up 5 fingers. Who knew that 4 months later, and Ellie would still be claiming to be three.

This last weekend we attended our sending church’s annual service and picnic at the park. We brought a short greeting and then caught up with people over BBQ and snacks. At one point, an old friend came up and made a comment about Ellie being so grown up and playing with a little 11 month old girl. She then mentioned that time sure flies with Ellie being 3 now. “Three? Who said she’s three? Did she tell you that? She’s not three, but two,” I explained. Apparently, Ellie had told her, and who knows how many others, that she was three. We laughed as we realized what had happened.

Is this just the beginning? I know that kids like to pretend they are older than they really are, but at two? Any advice on getting Ellie to acknowledge her age?

A Toddler’s Experiment February 10, 2013

Going for walks together, running the dog while riding on Daddy’s back, playing with blocks, exploring their world together, these are some of Ellie’s and Andy’s favorite activities. Another cherished activity is to “read” books together. I put read in quotes because neither of them actually read the books. Ellie being too young and Andy not being able to see the books. Instead, some books Andy has memorized, some Ellie simply names the animals or pictures, and others Andy makes up as they go. It’s not the reading that’s important to either of them, but spending time together.

When they go out together, Ellie knows that she has to hold Daddy’s hand at all times, but with Mommy sometimes it is okay to simply stay close. Ellie can identify whose shoes are whose and gladly helps Daddy find his shoes when going out. She even helps lead or guide Daddy from time to time.

Recently Andy banged his head on our front post trying to find the dog’s water bowl. Ellie was helping and they got too close to the pole. Showing great patience and grace, he paused to regain balance and then finished what he was doing. Ellie wasn’t quite sure why that happened, but she was watching.

Ellie watches everything and is constantly trying to figure out how her world works. This morning Ellie grabbed a cloth block, usually used as a hat, and pulled it low, like a helmet that covers the whole face. She then walked around with her hands out, running into things. She ran into the fan, peaked to see what it was, and then kept going. She heard Daddy drying the dog and walked tenderly over. How does this world work if I can’t see, she explored.

Even though Daddy is different, it doesn’t matter to Ellie. She interacts with him differently, but they still have a deep loving relationship. The how they interact isn’t important to Ellie, it’s the fact that Daddy loves her and spends time with her.

A Little Goodbye November 13, 2012

Yesterday we went to the park as a family. Ellie ran around the playground and played on all the toys, with her Daddy’s help. They climbed up ladders. They zoomed on the slides. They jumped on wiggly bridges. They laughed, they giggled, we had a blast.

Sometimes Ellie gets a little bossy. She knows what she wants and then points and directs Daddy until he does what she wants. Like sit on the right slide, or climb the stairs after her, or help her play on the teeter totter. Andy was a great sport and ran all around the park with Ellie. They had a great time.

After playing we decided to walk over to the food venders and buy chicken and sticky rice for dinner. We found a dry, quiet spot on the grass and had a picnic dinner. As we turned to walk home, trouble started. Ellie saw the playground on our way out and started throwing a fit. She didn’t want to go home. She wanted to play more, even though it was soon to be time for bed.

As a tantrum started, I had an idea. I asked Ellie to say “bye, bye” to the park. Ellie regained composure and waved enthusiastically and said bye, bye. The way she said it was like she was saying goodbye to a friend, but also knowing that she would be back. That she would have fun there again, so she could go home then.

After a long weekend of tantrums and battles, it was nice to have a moment of helping Ellie deal with her emotions in a positive way.

What ways do you distract or disrupt tantrums before they get out of hand?

Discipleship: Toddler Style October 31, 2012

I’ve been thinking a lot about discipling my toddler since my last post. At what age is it best to start talking about spiritual things? How much of what we talk about concerning spirituality does Ellie understand?

On the one side, Ellie knows when we are praying and will finish a prayer (or if someone is praying long, try to help finish) with a resounding A-Men. We also talk about God throughout the day.

On the other side, I don’t think that Ellie fully understands that the stories Daddy tells at night are different than the stories we tell during the day. That a prayer book or Bible with pictures is different than other storybooks. She surely doesn’t get that sometimes music is for fun and sometimes it is to praise God. How do I know that?

When we worship during church service, either Andy or I hold Ellie. We don’t want her to be running around, as well as we want worship to be a time of engagement for us and Ellie, no matter her age. She claps when we clap and even raises her little arms when others do so. She is engaged and learning what worship before God looks like. But later, at home, we might turn on some music and Ellie will clap along and sometimes even raise her hands, just like in worship. Very precious, but I don’t think she understands the difference.

I don’t think there is a perfect time to start. If I wait until Ellie understands everything, then it will feel like a new thing. Like, why didn’t we do this before if it’s so important? So we are laying the groundwork now. We are laying a foundation that prayer and worship and spending time with God are important. Not that Ellie needs to understand the what and the whys, but that she would sense that God is important to us. That our lives revolve around Him.

How do you introduce and teach your children about God? I would love to hear the ways you do it, so I can get more ideas for discipling Ellie.

Following in Mom’s Footsteps October 19, 2012

While at ECFC in Sri Lanka, one of the speakers mentioned how he would like to have a gathering were everyone dressed like the person they were before Christ. He explained that we could then see the work of God evident in how He has redeemed lives and is a God of mercy and compassion. I was left thinking, what would I wear?

There was never a time in my life I didn’t know the Lord. I accepted Jesus into my heart as a young child, but even before that I knew His love, as evidenced through my parents’ lives. They exampled God’s love to me. They were my first disciplers, introducing me to God’s word, showing me how to pray, and setting an example of what a healthy Christian life looks like.

This is what I want to example in Ellie’s life. I would love her to have the same testimony that I have, one of walking with God all her life. This is not easy. As I read throughout the Bible, many Godly parents have ungodly children, just look through the lives of the Kings. God has given my husband and I an amazing task, not only to teach our daughter the ways of life but also to point her to God and teach her about Him.

As parents we have been tasked to be disciplers of our children. Another speaker at ECFC brought out this point. He asked, “Does God have grandchildren, great grandchildren and so on? Or does he simply have children?” God looks at all his children as equal, no matter their age. We, as parents, have the privilege of helping our children know their heavenly Father. We get to be their first disciplers. Before friends have an influence, before Sunday school teachers and youth pastors teach them, it is our opportunity.

How are you using your opportunity to speak into your child’s life?

Throngs of People October 16, 2012

Our first day was spent exploring Colombo.  We drove around, visited temples (Hindu and Buddhist), and ate local food. The conference was in Negombo, though, so we stayed in that small beach town not far from the airport or Colombo.

When we finally made it to the beach we were shocked. Unlike many Asian countries, which enjoy the beach and water from afar (maybe a quiet walk in the cool of the day or huddling under stationary beach chairs and umbrellas), the beach was packed with people and food vendors. Families were playing in the waves, kids were flying kites, and there were throngs of people. This was not a tourist beach so the little blond-haired girl of our group really stuck out.

Sri Lankans were fascinated by Ellie. You could watch the heads all turn as we walked down the beach or played in the water with her. A few times, people even came right up to her and picked her up! Luckily, Ellie is starting to assert her wishes and desires, and quickly and resolutely told them no. Even as I stepped closer to Ellie to intervene, I proudly watched as she didn’t freak out but expressed herself and made herself understood. I guess NO! in a stern voice is understood around the world.

I felt caught between letting Ellie assert herself (which she did readily and without prompting) and wanting to protect her and rescue her. It is not an easy line to walk. How do you draw that line in your children’s lives?

A Surprise Visit September 28, 2012

My mom just left from a spur of the moment visit. She messaged me 2 weeks ago asking if I was home and free the following week. Five days later, she hopped on a plane and came to Thailand. She spent 8 days with us, going about our normal life and spending time with us.

Ellie just ate this time with Nana up. Every naptime and bedtime became a struggle as Ellie wanted to spend every moment possible with her Nana. “More book, more book,” she would implore of Nana as I announced it was bedtime, after giving warnings. After she awoke, she would gleefully run to find Nana either in the guest bedroom or downstairs.

With an abnormal amount of rain during the visit (the most in Bangkok in September in 50 years), we spent plently of time stuck in taxis or at home. That didn’t dampen the mood at all. One evening it took us over 1 ½ hours to go a normal 10 minute drive…it was that flooded and trafficky. No worries for Ellie and Nana, we just sang every children’s song we know over, and over, and over, and over. Those songs became the theme of this visit as Ellie looked for opportunities to sing them, and we had plenty.

The rain, and thus flooding on our street, stopped enough for us to make it to the zoo one morning and tea one afternoon. We went to Vieng Joom On Teahouse on Sukumvit 24. A Moroccan-styled, quiet teahouse that served traditional and house blended teas. Offering a vegetarian spread of sandwiches and scones, everything we ate melted in your mouth with a perfect blend of flavor. Ellie acted very grownup, and even drank her own cup of tea. After finishing our tea, we smelled the different blends of tea. Ellie made sure that we smelled each one at least once. I think we might have a future tea connoisseur here.

We had a great visit. Lots of good memories were made, and pictures taken so Ellie can have a record. But we had to say goodbye, see you again, after only 8 days. This is the tough part of being a missionary. Living half a world away from family. It is a rare treat to have a visit with family, and on such short notice. We treasure the times that we get to see family, even if it is only so often. Definitely not often enough for Ellie. She loves her family and wishes she got to see them regularly. She continues to wander around our home looking for Nana. I just keep explaining that Nana went back into the computer again (Skype).

I guess all those Skype times, phone calls, and pictures of family all over the house really help Ellie connect with her family. She knows who they are and enjoys a special relationship with them, even if they are thousands of miles away.

How do you connect with long distance loved-ones?

Age is a Funny Thing September 17, 2012

Somehow Ellie knows. She can’t read a calendar yet, or understand passing of time, but somehow Ellie knows. How do I know this? Well, last week was Ellie’s half birthday, now she’s 1 and a half years old. The evening before her half birthday, Ellie let us know that she was now 18 months old.

How, you might ask? With a huge tantrum when the option she wanted wasn’t presented as one of her two choices. Many people have been warning us that 18 months is the beginning of the boundaries testing stage, the terrible twos. While we’ve had minor tantrums, we hadn’t seen any signs of the battle of wills, so we were caught unaware on that evening. The same two choices Ellie gets at the end of dinner were presented that night. But all of the sudden that wasn’t good enough. Ellie wanted things to go a different way, her way. Since we didn’t agree with her, she let us know as we finished our meal.

It was like a switch was flipped in Ellie, an age switch. She heard that kids start acting a certain way at 18 months, and now that she was that age, she must act like that. We hadn’t told her about her half birthday yet, as we were planning on celebrating by going swimming and eating ice cream the next day. She knew anyways.

It hasn’t been all bad though, because the other big milestone at 18 months, language explosion, also hit Ellie at the same time. She is picking up new words every day right now. Words that we have been working on like down and let’s go in Thai, and words that we haven’t taught her. For example, Ellie had a hair in her eye the other day. She pointed to her eye repeatedly saying, “eye, eye, eye.” I didn’t know what she was trying to say as I didn’t know that she knew that word. A little eye rub and insistence by Ellie helped me figure it out.

Thankfully, 18 months has good things for Ellie, not just frustrations. We are having fun and communicating more and more together every day. Tantrums come and go throughout the day, but we are choosing to focus on the good parts of our day.

What exciting, or frustrating, things are happening in your life right now?