A Toddler’s Experiment February 10, 2013

Going for walks together, running the dog while riding on Daddy’s back, playing with blocks, exploring their world together, these are some of Ellie’s and Andy’s favorite activities. Another cherished activity is to “read” books together. I put read in quotes because neither of them actually read the books. Ellie being too young and Andy not being able to see the books. Instead, some books Andy has memorized, some Ellie simply names the animals or pictures, and others Andy makes up as they go. It’s not the reading that’s important to either of them, but spending time together.

When they go out together, Ellie knows that she has to hold Daddy’s hand at all times, but with Mommy sometimes it is okay to simply stay close. Ellie can identify whose shoes are whose and gladly helps Daddy find his shoes when going out. She even helps lead or guide Daddy from time to time.

Recently Andy banged his head on our front post trying to find the dog’s water bowl. Ellie was helping and they got too close to the pole. Showing great patience and grace, he paused to regain balance and then finished what he was doing. Ellie wasn’t quite sure why that happened, but she was watching.

Ellie watches everything and is constantly trying to figure out how her world works. This morning Ellie grabbed a cloth block, usually used as a hat, and pulled it low, like a helmet that covers the whole face. She then walked around with her hands out, running into things. She ran into the fan, peaked to see what it was, and then kept going. She heard Daddy drying the dog and walked tenderly over. How does this world work if I can’t see, she explored.

Even though Daddy is different, it doesn’t matter to Ellie. She interacts with him differently, but they still have a deep loving relationship. The how they interact isn’t important to Ellie, it’s the fact that Daddy loves her and spends time with her.

A Special Bond June 22, 2012

Ellie knows that Daddy responds differently to her than other people. When she smiles, he doesn’t immediately smile back. He doesn’t know she is smiling because he can’t see her. But if Ellie giggles or laughs, he responds. When she calls Daddy over with a quick hand gesture, he doesn’t know what she wants. This might sound discouraging to you, but to Ellie it just is. It doesn’t bother her. Instead, she is continually learning new ways to communicate with her daddy.

Ellie with her Daddy

Let me illustrate this with a short story of their interaction. But first some background info. Every morning, Andy takes Ellie downstairs to give me some quiet devotion time. Andy reads his Bible while Ellie plays and then he plays his guitar for some morning worship. If it is really early, then they will play together for a little bit before coming upstairs for morning showers.

The other evening, I was preparing dinner, Andy was finishing up an email, and Ellie was going through the tupperware drawer. When Andy came into the room to spend time with us, Ellie decided she needed some Daddy time. Not just any Daddy time, but she wanted to sing songs with Daddy. So she ran over to Daddy and grabbed his hand. She then led him across the kitchen and into the living room, over to the guitar. To make sure that Daddy knew exactly what she wanted, she lightly touched the strings on the neck of the guitar so that Daddy would know.

As Andy picked up the guitar and sat down to play and sing a song, Ellie had a huge smile. She had communicated clearly. Ellie then clapped along as Daddy played.

Sometimes we worry about how our children will react to a disability or difficincy in us, but I think we worry too much. Children are adaptable and see us for who we are, not who we aren’t.

How far is too far? April 27, 2012

Ellie is in a testing stage right now. “You said don’t touch the fan, I think I should touch it.” “How far can I wander and explore?”

Ellie is realizing that she is her own person who can control the world around her. She also is curious and loves to explore the world around her. But she also wants to be safe. To have boundaries of protection.

Last night we went to dinner at the mall. We had to wait about 15 minutes for our table to be ready, so I took Ellie out of the carrier so she could stretch her legs while we waited. At first, Ellie was content to wander around the spot we were standing, but soon she grew bored. She then wanted to explore some new areas, so off she took. Not a care in the world. That is until she got a decent distance from where we were standing. Then she turned her head to make sure that Mommy was following her, with a big smile on her face. When she sees me not too far away, she turned back around and just kept going.

Now this behavior concerns me on two fronts. First, Daddy can’t see her getting farther and farther away. And if she’s not talking or giggling, he can’t find her when she does. She could easily get lost as she plays this “game” with Daddy.

Second, babies and children get stolen in Thailand. Not just a vague concern, but a real threat. With people warning me about being careful to watch Ellie at home so someone doesn’t snatch her away. Couple that with an explorer spirit and there could be problems.

What do I do? Not let Andy watch and parent his daughter because of a handicap? No! I have to trust that Andy can parent just as well as I do. And I do. I completely do. I know that Ellie relates differently to her Daddy than to me. She doesn’t wander as far away from him. He makes her hold his hand tightly if they are walking together.

How do you keep your kids safe in public or crowded places?

Hong Kong Trip April 10, 2012

This post was written a few weeks ago, but had to be shelved due to internet issues…just found it and am posting it a little late.

My parents have been visiting for the last two weeks. Ellie just lit up when she found them in the house and not just in the computer. They have since returned to the computer…but we made lots of fun memories while they were here.

My dad doesn’t do well in the intense summer heat of Bangkok, so for part of their trip we hopped over to Hong King. It was springtime, cloudy, and cool (sometimes cold). What a change from hot, sweaty Bangkok. With one pair of pants and a single sweater, I managed to keep warm by layering my shirts and wearing Ellie.

Right away we noticed how easy it is to get around in the city of Hong Kong. Subways are plentiful and when jumping into a taxi you don’t need a car seat. I’m not a big fan of carrying strollers up and down stairs, so we left our stroller home and just used our carrier throughput the trip. We ended up doing a lot of walking, so we just traded Ellie back and forth. In case you decide to travel to Hong Kong with a little one, there are a lot of hills, with occasional stairs thrown into the mix.

Hong Kong was a great city to visit with a little one and a blind husband. The city is well organized for the blind to get around by themselves. All the signals beeped to let you know when it was safe to cross or not, there were those yellow raised lines of dots…I affectionately call them, blind dots…everywhere to let you know the edge of the sidewalk or stairs. It is after visiting places like this that my husband always dreams of Bangkok being more special needs minded.

There isn’t a lot of touristy things to do in Hong Kong, even less when it is highly cloudy. We walked through lots of markets and shopping areas, but never made it to ladies market. Ellie’s favorite market was the fish market and Andy’s was the coffee shops with their free Internet, if only for 20 minutes a day. Sadly we were unable to take the cable car to the top of the mountain or ride the cable cars as they were both closed while we were there.

We did make it to Aberdeen and went out on a harbor cruise. The humming of the boat’s motor put Ellie fast asleep. We ate local food at least nice a day and found their portions similar to Thailand, delicious but small and somewhat lacking. While walking through a park I even took part in a food survey.

Andy was only able to stay for 3 days, and then he had to get back to work. After he left we transferred out of our hotel in the middle of the shopping district and went to Noah’s Resort located in a full size replica of Noah’s Ark. This was located on a little island with a little beach. We enjoyed our stay in the Ark but didn’t pay the entrance fee to go through the exhibits realizing that Ellie was too little for them. They looked like great fun for preschoolers and up.

One of the main attractions in Hong Kong is Disneyland, and yes we went. If you go, you should take the metro in as the special tram into the park has all the Disney magic. The actual park was a small version of the park in Anaheim. There were no big rides aside from Space Mountain, which was my favorite ride. Ellie loved the Jungle Cruise and Dumbo. Her favorite ride was It’s a Small World. Everywhere we went around the park, Disney employees handed out little stickers to Ellie and the other young children. we went on a Thursday and the longest line was around 20 minutes. We rode everything, saw a show, and shopped and were still done by dinner time. Overall, we had an enjoyable day.

This was our first time to Hong Kong and we found it a fun city to visit. We enjoyed seeing a new culture, eating new foods, and enjoying the cool weather.