A Toddler’s Experiment February 10, 2013

Going for walks together, running the dog while riding on Daddy’s back, playing with blocks, exploring their world together, these are some of Ellie’s and Andy’s favorite activities. Another cherished activity is to “read” books together. I put read in quotes because neither of them actually read the books. Ellie being too young and Andy not being able to see the books. Instead, some books Andy has memorized, some Ellie simply names the animals or pictures, and others Andy makes up as they go. It’s not the reading that’s important to either of them, but spending time together.

When they go out together, Ellie knows that she has to hold Daddy’s hand at all times, but with Mommy sometimes it is okay to simply stay close. Ellie can identify whose shoes are whose and gladly helps Daddy find his shoes when going out. She even helps lead or guide Daddy from time to time.

Recently Andy banged his head on our front post trying to find the dog’s water bowl. Ellie was helping and they got too close to the pole. Showing great patience and grace, he paused to regain balance and then finished what he was doing. Ellie wasn’t quite sure why that happened, but she was watching.

Ellie watches everything and is constantly trying to figure out how her world works. This morning Ellie grabbed a cloth block, usually used as a hat, and pulled it low, like a helmet that covers the whole face. She then walked around with her hands out, running into things. She ran into the fan, peaked to see what it was, and then kept going. She heard Daddy drying the dog and walked tenderly over. How does this world work if I can’t see, she explored.

Even though Daddy is different, it doesn’t matter to Ellie. She interacts with him differently, but they still have a deep loving relationship. The how they interact isn’t important to Ellie, it’s the fact that Daddy loves her and spends time with her.

A Special Bond June 22, 2012

Ellie knows that Daddy responds differently to her than other people. When she smiles, he doesn’t immediately smile back. He doesn’t know she is smiling because he can’t see her. But if Ellie giggles or laughs, he responds. When she calls Daddy over with a quick hand gesture, he doesn’t know what she wants. This might sound discouraging to you, but to Ellie it just is. It doesn’t bother her. Instead, she is continually learning new ways to communicate with her daddy.

Ellie with her Daddy

Let me illustrate this with a short story of their interaction. But first some background info. Every morning, Andy takes Ellie downstairs to give me some quiet devotion time. Andy reads his Bible while Ellie plays and then he plays his guitar for some morning worship. If it is really early, then they will play together for a little bit before coming upstairs for morning showers.

The other evening, I was preparing dinner, Andy was finishing up an email, and Ellie was going through the tupperware drawer. When Andy came into the room to spend time with us, Ellie decided she needed some Daddy time. Not just any Daddy time, but she wanted to sing songs with Daddy. So she ran over to Daddy and grabbed his hand. She then led him across the kitchen and into the living room, over to the guitar. To make sure that Daddy knew exactly what she wanted, she lightly touched the strings on the neck of the guitar so that Daddy would know.

As Andy picked up the guitar and sat down to play and sing a song, Ellie had a huge smile. She had communicated clearly. Ellie then clapped along as Daddy played.

Sometimes we worry about how our children will react to a disability or difficincy in us, but I think we worry too much. Children are adaptable and see us for who we are, not who we aren’t.