The Why July 8, 2014

Andy and I have just left for a 12 day mission trip to Bangkok. Ellie is staying home with my mom. She has only made peace with this fact yesterday as she really wanted to come with us. I wanted to share one quick story from the previous week as our trip begins. (It is amazing how much one can get done on those long plane flights without a toddler in tow…)

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Everyone warns you about this stage. The why stage. The constant barrage of questions trying to understand how the world works. I don’t mind the incessant question of why most of the time. It is fun introducing Ellie to new ideas and basic concepts. We have been talking about tides recently as we walk along the beach and Ellie notices that the water is sometimes much closer or farther away from our trail. Her eyes grow big as she tries to wrap her mind around the fact that the moon in the sky effects the ocean. Those are the fun why questions.

But then there are other times that the why questions are tiring and impossible to answer. They usually start out innocently enough: “Why is there a foot rest on the rocking horse thingy at the park?” If my answer doesn’t make sense or I didn’t explain it satisfactory, Ellie will simply ask me the same question again. I usually try to explain it better then. But by the third or fourth time of the same question, it is hard to give her any reasons.

This happened the other day at the park. Ellie was trying to chase down why the park was built the way that it was. After multiple attempts, I finally looked at her and said, “Mmm, I don’t know. Do you know why?” Without missing a beat, Ellie replied, “I’m 3! I don’t know everything, Mommy.” I looked right back and told her that I’m an adult and I don’t know everything either. That stumped her for a minute. It was a great open door. We then talked about how Mommy still learns new things now, but God knows everything. In fact God is the only one who knows everything. Ellie liked that idea and is still telling everyone who asks

Worshipping Once Again May 19, 2014

We often have seasons of how we interact with God in slightly different ways. I don’t know about you, but there are times where I am hungry to read the Word of God, others where I want to sit in the presence of God, and others where I feel the need to press-in in prayer. I’m currently in a season of increased prayer, not that I give up reading my Bible or worshipping or fellowshipping, but I find myself being called to a deeper prayer walk. Watching Ellie, and I believe that kids go through these same ideas of interacting with God differently in different seasons. There are times that Ellie wants to pray a lot, and there are times where she won’t join in to pray at all and demands that Mommy or Daddy prays for her. There are times where I catch her reading her Bible by herself or she wants to listen to me read mine, and then other times where she would rather play quietly during my devotion time.

As her parents, we have decided that the best way to cultivate her journey with God is to immerse her in our walks with God. We pray out loud, have set times to read our Bibles, do family communion, go to church together, and bring up discussions about God when they fit. We desire to show that following God is a way of life for us.

The other night we went to speak at a middle of the week young adults service. Ellie is typically shy of any childcare that isn’t her regular Sunday school class, so I told her she could sit with us during service if she wanted. She jumped at that, and joined us for the service. I was excited to immerse her in the service and help her feel a part of what the adults do during service.

As I held Ellie and worshipped, Ellie joined in with a soft wordless song. We caught each other’s eye while singing and both smiled. Ellie was worshipping alongside her mother.

My heart broke for joy for several reasons. First, she was entering into worship. It was in her own way and not under compulsion, but flowing from her heart.

Second, she hasn’t joined in during worship since we were living in Bangkok. For several months prior to our move, Ellie would sing during worship. When we moved, the worship song style was different and unfamiliar. The humming and singing that Ellie would do didn’t match these beats and patterns. She closed up and hasn’t sung during worship since. It has been a year since I heard Ellie worship alongside me and she has joined back in once more.

A beautiful moment because Andy and I chose to bring Ellie out to a late night service and to include her in worship. As we drove home I could barely keep back the happy tears as I recounted our worship time to my husband. What a wonderful night.

There is Wonder Everywhere April 17, 2014

The other afternoon I made a pineapple smoothie for Ellie. It was the simplest of smoothies with only frozen pineapple chunks, ice, and water, but Ellie thought it tasted amazing. We have since had that same smoothie about 3 or 4 times. But I digress from my story. As I handed Ellie her smoothie I grabbed a large straw so she could drink it easily. She began to enjoy her smoothie and then realized that the straw was clear, and she could see the liquid coming up the straw as she drank. Not only that, but with the thickness of the smoothie, she could control how fast she sucked and watch as it flowed up the straw quickly or slowly. The “game” soon turned into suction control as Ellie manipulated the smoothie up and down the straw. Up an inch, down a half an inch, all the way into her mouth, watch it fall a third of the way down before drawing it back up the straw and into her mouth.

Wonder.

Found in a common occurrence, something we do on a regular basis.

Wonder, found in drinking with a straw.

Wonder.

When was the last time I was caught by the newness and excitement of something seemingly normal in my daily life? Having a three-year old in the home opens my eyes to wonder in new ways. As she is struck with wonder in the things around her, I am reminded to pause and look for the wonder in my life. God has placed wondrous things all around and am I too busy to see them or do I see things fresh over and over again? Am I pausing to watch the sunset, or am I distracted with dishes and bedtime stories? Do I notice the beauty alongside the road as we drive, or am I distracted with all I have to do for the day? Am I enjoying the flavors of my dinner (juicy chicken, freshly cooked spring veggies, and Thai Jasmine rice, for example), or am I just shoveling food in as I try to make sure that my child eats some chicken with her rice?

There is definitely wonder in these two!

Wonder is found everywhere, all around us. I want to see more of the beautiful, more of the wondrous around me this spring.

What are some of the wondrous things in your life right now?

I Can’t See God February 4, 2014

The biggness of God is a difficult thing to teach to Ellie. We talk about how God made us and is powerful in and through stories. Ellie understands that we love God and he loves us. In modeling our faith, we talk to God throughout the day and about God when the opportunity arises.

The other day Ellie and I were talking as we drank tea and ate a snack and I suggested that we “talk to God about that.” Ellie just looked at me. “How can we talk to God?” she wondered out loud, ” but I don’t see him.” I tried to explain that God is always here with us.  Even if we can’t see him, he can hear what we are saying. Ellie logically looked out the window and asked if God was outside (i.e. I can’t see him but he must be really close to hear what I am saying). I sort of agreed with that while trying to say yes and he is also here as well. Ellie simply looked out the window harder, maybe she would see God.

It’s not easy trying to describe God in a way my two year old understands. I mean, God is so big and indescribable can any of us fully understand him before we get to heaven? While I will continue to share who God is with Ellie, I realize how easy it is for all of us to go about our daily lives and not “see God.” Load after load of laundry coupled with loads of dishes to be constantly washed, stories to be read, a dog to be walked, toys to be played with and then put away; really, a never-ending life to be lived. Wouldn’t it be easier to spend time with God if we could see him? Like a friend coming over to spend time with us. And yet, he is here with us every moment of the day. Present, and yet invisible. I may not be able to see God visibly, but I want to really spend time with him every day.

Each In Our Own Way January 21, 2014

Ellie and I love to have tea parties. Whether it is pretend tea or real tea makes little difference to us. We love to sit down and sip tea, add sugar or honey, and add milk. When it is pretend time, exaggeration is the name of the game, with cups filled overflowing, if only in our minds. When we sit down with real tea, we chose a decaf tea lightly sweetened with honey. Ellie likes hers filled with ice cubes while I drink mine hot. There is something fun about sitting down for a tea party with a little girl, no matter her age.

The other morning, Ellie invited me to a tea party. We had lots of time so I boiled some water and brewed a pot of tea. As Ellie grabbed her favorite tea cup the smile said it all,  she was happy. I love this time with Ellie, so I grabbed my phone and snapped a quick picture of Ellie.

As we drank our tea, Ellie saw a pouch of fruit snacks laying on the table. She had forgotten to eat it the night before when we were out. In the middle of the night she had awoken crying about not getting to eat her fruit snacks. Rather than disappoint again, when Ellie asked I decided that a snack of fruit snacks would be fine, even if she had been eating all morning. It turned out to be a great choice.

Ellie directed the next course of events. We would put a fruit snack in our mouth and then take a sip of tea. The goal was to keep the fruit snack on the tongue and still swallow the tea. We had to prove it by sticking out our tongue with the fruit snack. Ellie thought this was so much fun that I had to make up a second pot of tea. Towards the end of our tea time Ellie grabbed her little camera. After the next sip of tea (and tongue sticking out with fruit snack) Ellie snapped a picture of me. She wanted to remember our tea that day.

Ellie and I both had a blast at that tea. I wanted to remember that we sat down together excited and happy to spend time together. Ellie had so much fun playing a game while we drank our tea that she wanted to document it. I love that we can each have parts of an activity that appeal to each of us. How we enjoy may be different but that we are both enjoying makes my heart happy.

I have a feeling that enjoying things differently but both having fun will continue. It does not have to be threatening, that Ellie enjoys different things than me. I believe that it is more important to be doing things together, especially if we both find it fun. My goal is spending time with Ellie.

When spending time with your child(ren), do you mainly do activities your child(ren) like, ones you enjoy, or you both like? What is the right balance with that?

 

Through the Eyes of a Toddler January 15, 2014

For Christmas Ellie got a child-safe camera. I went shopping on Black Friday and found it for a steal of a deal. Anyways, Ellie loves her new camera. She loves the freedom to walk around the house taking pictures of whatever she wants, whenever she wants. And while some of the pictures don’t turn out, either ultra blurring or overly dark, some pictures capture the people and things that Ellie loves. The things that are important to her.

Here is a glimpse into the world of Ellie:

        From the Christmas dinner table. (Note the height at which all the pictures were taken 😉

A puzzle, and cute little toes.

Ellie’s cousin

An Ellie sized chair

Princess horses…a favorite toy

If you are willing…Ellie even has you pose for pictures.

Ellie’s guitar

And as always, a selfie.

I couldn’t include every picture but it is interesting to see what Ellie values and wants to remember.

Jet Lag: Dog Style July 27, 2013

You might not think about this, but jet lag is not just for people. I know that I didn’t think about this when we brought Laguna from Thailand to California. (This is part three of the story of our dog traveling from Thailand to the US, you can read about the journey here and our dog’s first thoughts here) I figured that dogs sleep large parts of the day so she shouldn’t have any trouble sleeping in a new country. Not only that, but Laguna was now allowed to sleep in our room with us (we had a no pets allowed upstairs rule in our Bangkok town home), so she should sleep wonderfully, or so we thought.

On our first night in California, we crashed relatively early at about 9pm. Ellie had long fallen asleep before 7 from exhaustion and time differences. We excitedly told Laguna she could sleep with us and went to bed.

Jet lag is not easy to deal with, but with a toddler, you easily spend half the night awake. Either you are awake because of your own jet lag or you are awake with the little one. By 1am, Ellie decided night time was over and she needed a snack of peanut butter, it was well past lunch time in Bangkok after all. An hour later, she is back to sleep and I’ve just fallen asleep when Laguna decides night time is over. This time it was Andy’s turn to deal with sleeplessness, so he takes the dog for a potty break and then tries to convince her that it is in the middle of the night and time to sleep.

That might have worked, if not for a mirrored closet in the room we were sleeping in. If you remember, my dog is a timid dog, fearful of all other dogs in Thailand. Well, Laguna caught her reflection in the mirror and thought it was another dog. Fearful, but thinking she needed to protect her family, Laguna started growling to scare away the other dog. She slowly crept closer, watching the other dog creep closer as well. The growling intensified as Laguna saw the threat moving closer to her and her family. By this time, the only one sleeping in our room was Ellie.

We tried to reason with Laguna, but to no avail. She needed to protect us. Desperate to get back asleep, I moved a suitcase in front of the mirror and told Laguna the other dog was gone. Laguna sat up to verify and found the other dog, now hiding behind the suitcase. Every few seconds, Laguna would check to see if the dog was still there, growl, see that the dog wasn’t coming any closer and then lay back down. Desperate, I finally called Laguna over and then held her down facing away from the mirror and fell asleep.

Every night for the next few nights, Laguna woke up in the middle of the night. She would beg for a potty break, drink water and try to eat. Her body thought it was the middle of the day, not the middle of the night. Andy walked her for about a week and then told Laguna enough is enough. No more night time escapades, it is not day time but sleeping time.

Has your pet ever had jet lag?

“No, I’m Three” July 10, 2013

Ellie went from age one to age three. She missed two, at least in her mind. We celebrated her birthday a little over a week early. We talked about her being 2 and she was excited. And then on her actual birthday, when we talked about it being her birthday, Ellie decided she was 3. It was cute. We would ask Ellie, “How old are you? Are you 2?” She would smile and reply, “No, I three.” and then hold up 5 fingers. Who knew that 4 months later, and Ellie would still be claiming to be three.

This last weekend we attended our sending church’s annual service and picnic at the park. We brought a short greeting and then caught up with people over BBQ and snacks. At one point, an old friend came up and made a comment about Ellie being so grown up and playing with a little 11 month old girl. She then mentioned that time sure flies with Ellie being 3 now. “Three? Who said she’s three? Did she tell you that? She’s not three, but two,” I explained. Apparently, Ellie had told her, and who knows how many others, that she was three. We laughed as we realized what had happened.

Is this just the beginning? I know that kids like to pretend they are older than they really are, but at two? Any advice on getting Ellie to acknowledge her age?

Family Time with God April 27, 2013

We started a new family tradition in our home recently. At the end of every week we gather together to have a time of thanksgiving and communion as a family. It is a wonderful way to recap our week as we go around and say what we are thankful for from the week. We take turns saying one thing we are thankful for and then going around the circle again and again until we run out of things to say. We then thank God and remember what Jesus did on the cross for us in communion. We conclude by lifting the coming week in prayer. It is quickly becoming one of my favorite times of the week.

How much do we expect Ellie to join in our time? I mean, she’s only 2. On the days when she isn’t interested or full of energy, we ask her to start with us and then call her back for each successive part. A screaming, whining, or otherwise distracting child really isn’t conducive to offering thanksgiving. It’s hard to be thankful at those moments. But Andy and I want to have family rhythms of spiritual times built into lives, into the fabric of our family. To do this, we need to start these patterns, these traditions, now, even before Ellie fully gets what we are doing, or so we thought.

The last time we gathered for our time of thanksgiving, Ellie surprised us. We started by asking what are we thankful for, and Ellie named off 3 or 4 different things and listened as we shared one by one. Ellie briefly scampered away as we did communion and then sat back down for prayer time. As we talked about what to pray for, Ellie offered her own prayer requests. Andy or I would pray about that issue and then Ellie would ask to pray more, and more, and more. We sat as a family for over 20 minutes talking and praying. And we thought she was too young to fully understand.

God continues to remind me that we need to be intentional to disciple Ellie. We can’t think that we won’t include her until a set time, as she is ready now for something. I don’t want to force it, but I want to immerse Ellie in it. I want to make it so much a part of our lives that Ellie wants to join in for herself.

How do/did you include your children in times of spiritual things?

Toddler Selfies April 22, 2013

Technology is changing the world around in very quickly. Iphones and Ipads are common place items in many homes today. When I was Ellie’s age, we didn’t have a computer. I still remember our first computer. We wrote out the DOS codes so we would know how to open the write programs. That cheat sheet was essential to our using the computer. We didn’t have to have limits to our screen time, as we mainly only had educational activities and games on the computer. We had limited TV time, but the computer was only an occasional activity that we choose.

Fast forward to today, Ellie begs to use my Ipad nightly and knows how to use Iphones, even though Andy and I don’t have one. She can convince visitors to allow her to borrow their phones to play games and look at pictures. Once she sees an Iphone, she asks by name to use it every time we jump in a taxi or are sitting and waiting somewhere. Thais don’t generally use Iphones, as they prefer android phones, so Iphones are a treat for when we have visitors or teams from America.

As a thank you for being able to use their phone, Ellie makes sure to take selfies of herself. She wants to remind them of her and their trip to Thailand. Now if it was only 1 or just a few selfies the people would be happy, maybe even enjoy the toddler pics. But Ellie is not content to take just a few pictures of herself. No, she generally takes more than 20 pictures at a time. With the ceiling, or just the top of her hair, or maybe her eyes. If you are really lucky, then she will capture her whole face for the picture, but those are rare.

Ellie wants to say thank you to everyone who has let her use her their Iphone for games or to view pictures.